It can be challenging to bring up assisted living with aging parents. Most senior citizens see moving into an assisted living facility as losing freedom. When your parents are afraid to leave the comfort of their homes, they may stubbornly refuse to discuss senior housing possibilities. This stubbornness can compel you to avoid this subject out of fear of upsetting a loved one. 

When your loved ones need your assistance, you could feel like you are abandoning them.

You should be aware that arranging for your loved one to move into an assisted living facility might be the best thing you could do for them. You shouldn’t feel guilty about asking for assistance if you cannot provide your parents the support they require.

While relocating to an assisted living facility from their home may be difficult, it will prolong your parents’ social life and improve the quality of their lives. More than 800,000 Americans are currently residing in various living communities spread out across the states, according to the National Center for Assisted Living.

When living in an assisted living facility, your parents will gain support and help with daily living activities (ADLs), such as bathing and grooming.

How Do you Know it’s Time to Talk About Assisted Living With Your Aging Parents

One of the trickiest conversations you’ll ever have with your elderly parents is one regarding assisted living alternatives. You will need to know “when” to bring up the subject, and you can only do this when you are aware of the appropriate moment.

Remember that there isn’t a specific time or set of clues that will tell you when to have the conversation with your loved one regarding assisted living.

The indications typically appear gradually; unless you are highly attentive or physically close to your loved one, you may completely miss them.

Also, you may not notice these changes, particularly if you only view the bright side. It’s challenging to picture our parents as anything other than the steadfast people they have always been since we spend our formative years seeing them as our rocks and anchors.

Acknowledging that our parents require assistance could come as a shock. So the question is, how do you decide that your parents need further help?

Some of these indicators can help you get ready and decide whether to discuss assisted living options with your loved one:

• As you become aware of any harm to their properties
• When they have a stockpile of mail
• Loss of weight
• Poor personal hygiene
• Confusion
• Concealed injuries
• When they begin to avoid social gatherings
• When they are jittery and terrified of everything.
• After an injury

Preparing to Discuss Assisted Living Facilities with Your Parents

Discussing assisted living choices with your parents and starting the conversation before they need it can help reduce their worry. Your loved one may require long-term care in response to a medical emergency like an accident or major surgery. This will force you to scramble to find care options that may differ from what you want for your loved one. But, if it’s not an emergency and you have time to explore the care services offered, you can choose the most excellent care solutions that meet the specific needs of your loved one.

Some of the things you can do to properly prepare for having this meaningful discussion with your parents:

Make the Topic an Ongoing One and Give Your Parent Time to Think About It

[ a loving daughter talking with her mom about assisted living]

You can bring up this subject with your parents before they ever need assisted living services. Instead of imposing it on them suddenly, you are giving them something to consider by doing this. T

hey may feel threatened and refuse to participate in the conversation if you suddenly force it onto them. But, bringing up the subject in a non-threatening manner and allowing the conversation to develop at its own pace can show your parents that you are concerned about their feelings and well-being. You must treat this subject delicately to avoid upsetting your parents when they most need your love and support. No parent likes to feel like they are a burden to their children.

Look for a Comfortable Spot to Have the Conversation

It will be easier to talk to your parents in a relaxed setting where they won’t perceive you as a danger. You can relax and discuss your parents’ kitchen or the backyard. You might start the conversation by explaining that although it is a touchy subject, you want to respect their wishes. Ensure they understand they don’t have to decide immediately; they can consider it and let you know what they choose.

Share Necessary Information Only 

To aid your parents in reaching a choice, try to share only the information they need to know. Too much knowledge can overwhelm your parents, which could negatively affect them and make them defensive.

The talk may end abruptly when your parents become defensive, making it difficult to pick up later.

Take your time while imparting knowledge, and make the conversation vibrant so you can both learn new and fascinating facts.

Identify Options for Assisted Living Around You

When you realize your parents require extra assistance, you should research the housing options in your neighborhood. Visit the facility to learn more about the services provided, the quality of staffing, and the living conditions.

When you visit the facility, please pay attention to how other seniors interact with their caregivers and live. This will give you more information about the institution. Check whether the senior citizens are taking advantage of their recreational opportunities or if their presence is only for aesthetics.

Verify their prices to make sure they fall under your spending limit. If you have any questions when you are there, you can ask them to ease your mind and ensure you are fully informed before discussing assisted living choices with your loved ones. It helps to have a plan in place.

Find Out About Your Loved Ones Finances

Knowing if your parents can afford assisted living services or whether you would be better off employing a part-time caregiver is vital. Verify their retirement benefits and insurance coverage. For instance, if your parents are veterans, they can be eligible for veteran benefits.

Knowing your family’s financial condition can enable you to discuss your worries and work with your loved one to devise a solution.

Sometimes it might not be easy to talk to your parents about money, so you’ll need to inquire in a way that clarifies that you’re interested in finding out if they can afford an assisted living facility.

By doing this, you’ll be able to let your parents know that you want to respect their preferences and give them stress-free golden years.

Present Assisted Living Options in a Positive Tone and Language

Ensuring the dialogue flows easily when promoting assisted living as a housing alternative is essential. Using a positive tone with your loved one is one way to be sure of this. Positive language and style will not come across as threatening and will convey to your parents your concern and your want for nothing but the best for them.

Instead of using the word “rooms,” you may say “condo-style living accommodations,” and “housing option” would mean “community” instead of “facility.” You’ll make sure to persuade them to view the change favorably.

Final Thoughts

Try to include your loved ones in decision-making as much as possible while discussing alternative housing options for them. Avoid making them feel as though you are imposing your will on them. If you observe that they are apprehensive about assisted living, you might try to understand why.

Listen to their fears and worries and address each point accordingly. You should strive to honor your loved ones’ wishes, even if you disagree with them.